Regular Roommate
by skepticalCupcakes
Summary: {Based on Mookie's humaized designs. This is an AU where Mordecai is 21 and Rigby is 19} (Smexy time in later chapters) Rigby, a freshman in college, soon learns that life with his conceited blue-haired roommate, Mordecai, is anything but regular. Especially when he's obsessed with making Rigby's goal of impressing his parents impossible. How will Rigby deal with such a pesky man


Rigby just stared at the door to his dorm room doubtfully, fingering the slip of paper in his hands. He glanced down to reread the messy handwriting he had already memorized over and over again. He was just making sure.

Room 403. Fourth floor, third door on the right.

Right. He was already pretty bummed he had to share a room, and to add insult to injury he would be sharing a room with an upperclassman. You know, in the upperclassmen building, which completely and utterly sucked for two reasons. First off, Rigby was a freshman, at the bottom of the bottom and he was almost positive that all upperclassmen would hold this over his head and take advantage of it. Secondly, the upperclassmen's building was on the exact opposite side of campus that his classes were. Oh what he'd give to switch over to the freshmen building.

He took a breath, sharply, and mentally prepared himself to meet the person he would be spending the next four semesters with. He raised his hand to the door hesitantly and after a few seconds of contemplating, he hurriedly knocked on the wooden surface. There wasn't any answer at first but he could hear three people having a conversation. The door muffled the voices a bit so it was hard to make out what they were saying, but Rigby was pretty good at eavesdropping so…

"sounds like the freshy's here"

"dude go get the door."

"No way man! It's your dorm."

"Ugh, Fives… can you get it? I have to go do something real quick. Just let him in."

"Yeah sure."

There was the sound of footstep and the door swung open, in front of Rigby stood a medium sized teen with platinum blonde hair; almost as white as snow.

"Uh, hey you must be R…Rig… something" His dark eyes narrowed, it was obvious he was really trying to remember Rigby's name.

"Rigby." The brunette nodded at the boy.

"You can call me Fives. It's kind of a nickname." Fives smiled and gestured for Rigby to come in. Rigby reached down to grab his bags but another had beat him to it. He looked up to see a taller man. He was really, /really/ buff and had long-ish hair.

"Call me muscle man." He winked as he slung all three bags over his shoulder.

"I can see why…" Rigby bit his lip as he watched 'Muscle Man' carry his bags into the room. Rigby followed closely behind the two examining the room as they went. Muscle man set Rigby's bags down by a white leather loveseat a little too harshly for Rigby's liking.

"Careful!" Rigby's jaw tightened. "That's my stuff."

"I /was/ careful and if your things break from just that, you're probably better off without them." The tallest male shrugged.

"What an excellent welcoming committee." Rigby coated his words with sarcasm. What an ass.

"Where's my roommate?" He looked around the (what seemed to be) living room, which was adorned with said loveseat, a matching armchair, coffee table, TV, and a few game consoles. Rigby was curious to see what kind of person his roommate was; hopefully he was nothing like the man in front of him.

Muscle man pointed to a door behind him, "He's taking care of something." Fives nodded in agreement.

"Whatever." Rigby muttered, "You're his friends?" What kind of idiot would have such… arrogant friends?

"As if we'd be friends with that loser." Muscle man scoffed, as if the idea was somehow as repulsive as his fashion sense (which was horrible, who would wear navy blue and brown together like that?).

"You're sort of in his dorm…" Rigby sighed and scratched the side of his neck. He wondered how stupid these people really were, though he'd never say it out loud. They were both quite a bit taller than him, and he was far scrawnier. He was dumb when it came to books, but he was decent when it came to street smarts. You don't make people bigger than you mad, you just don't.

"You're kind of short." Muscle man smirked, obviously trying to start something. Oh so he was a mind reader now?

"What's it to you?" Rigby's eyes narrowed as he crossed his arms, trying to make himself look tough.

"Just pointing it out. I don't think I've ever seen a college student as short as you. How old are you?"

"19"

"Fresh outta high school, just like my mom." A high-five to the blonde teen.

"That's lame. It didn't even make sense."

"You know what else doesn't make any sense? My mom!"

Rigby just stared blankly as the two males shared a laugh. Seriously? Wasn't the whole point of the 'mother' jokes to insult someone /else's/ mom? "You guys are so lame. I can feel myself becoming lamer just by standing in the same room as you."

"Hey, you wouldn't know cool if it bit you in the ass."

"Says the loser who insults his own mom."

"Hey! No one talks like that about my mom like that." Rigby just died a little on the inside. How could his roommate put up with people like this? Was his roommate like this? He didn't know if he'd be able to survive college.

"Alright guys, thanks." A voice came from behind Muscle Man and Rigby was surprised to see a tall figure standing in the doorway. Apparently Rigby had been too focused on this Muscle Man character to even notice the man, cool as he was. And boy, was he cool. The way he propped his elbow against the wall to support his cool guy stance, his brilliant cerulean-blue hair, mix-matched eyes, and spontaneous fashion sense, he just screamed popular. Ah, so that's the kind of guy he was. One of those pretentious hipster asses.

"Take a picture. It'll last longer." The blue-haired male winked, his voice deliciously deep with a sweet teasing tone. Rigby almost gagged.

"I-I wasn't looking at you, stupid." Rigby explained; feeling a little flustered.

"Sure, sure. Whatever floats your boat." He shrugged, took a step forward, and turned to face Muscle man and Fives, "Thanks for the help you guys. I'll see ya tomorrow." The blue haired man waved them off. They nodded and left, closing the door with a loud slam behind them.

"…" Rigby stood there silently. He didn't like his roommate's arrogant attitude, and he certainly did not like his friends, and most importantly Rigby did not like the way Mordecai's flannel wasn't buttoned up all the way and exposed that much more of his skin. Nope, not at all.

"You must be Rigby. Welcome to the college life, freshy." He chuckled, "My name's Mordecai, I'll be your roomy."

"You don't say?" Rigby said bitterly, hating the fact he had to look up to make eye contact with this Mordecai guy.

"Well… I just did so…" He rolled his eyes. "I'll show you 'round real quick before I have to leave to go to my job."

"Whatever." Rigby placed his hands on his hips.

Mordecai smiled, he figured he could have fun with his knew roommate. He looked like the innocent type who was easy to tease. "This-" Mordecai gestured to the room around him, "-Is the living room, where I chill with my bros and play sweet games."

"No shit." Mordecai smiled at his roommate. He could befriend Rigby, he was pretty cool.

"And that-" Mordecai pointed towards the archway to his left, "-That it the kitchen. That's where you eat food."

Rigby crossed his arms and Mordecai had to stifle a laugh. "Follow me…" Mordecai did a 180 and headed back towards the door he just came through with Rigby following at his feet. "This is our room."

"We share a room?" Rigby's eyes widened, he was prepared to share a dorm but…

"Deal with it the dorms here are shitty, at least the beds are separated." Mordecai scratched the back of his head semi-apologetically. "It's really not a big deal."

Rigby examined the room, it was big enough, the beds were on opposite sides of the room, and they each had their own dresser and a set of shelves. It was obvious Rigby was getting the left side of the room; it was the side of the room with blank walls, cleared shelves and a neatly made bed. Mordecai's side was a sty, littered with magazines, cd albums, soda cans, and miscellaneous shirts. Mm so his roommate wasn't a clean freak. That was a plus. Rigby just hoped that he'd keep /his/ mess on his own side.

"I guess it's not…" Rigby finally agreed.

"I do have some rules for you though. If you break them, your life will become hell." Mordecai's tone changed and his eyes looked cold. "First of all, this is my half of the room. You do /not/ under any circumstances go on my half. You do /not/ touch my shit. The top shelf in the bathroom is /mine/ don't touch the stuff in there. So basically, if it's not yours, hands off. Got it?" Rigby nodded weakly. "Peachy." Mordecai grinned bitterly, "I have to go work now. Have fun unpacking, freshy." Mordecai said in a sneer-like tone.

Mordecai left the room, leaving a very shaken-up Rigby to process things. His roommate was a complete asshole. He was totally lording the fact that he was older and in a higher class than Rigby to gain authority. Rigby understood personal space, unlike Mordecai he was not an ass (most of the time to people he liked) and could respect boundaries. Why was Mordecai being such an ass anyway? Rigby was sure he /could/ be a pretty OK guy judging by his taste in rad video games and his taste in clothes wasn't completely repulsive. But no, no he had to go and act like a douche even though Rigby really hadn't done anything wrong. OK, OK, so Rigby had been a little cold towards Mordecai but he didn't go all psycho-control freak and get all angry like Rigby had actually, God forbid, touched his stuff.

Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Mordecai. Acting all high and mighty with his job and lame-o band posters. Rigby bet he could play ten times better than any of those bands. No, he knew he could play better than them. Now he was just being conceited and that made him no better than Mordecai. Damn.

He heaved a sigh and slowly treaded back out into the living room grabbing his suitcase, duffle bag, and guitar case before returning to the bedroom. He set everything on his bed and reexamined the room. He was guessing the door in the middle of the room was the bathroom. He unzipped his suitcase and quickly pulled out all the clothes, absent-mindedly stuffing them into drawers. Then he unzipped his duffle bag and plugged in his iPod and laptop then went to go put his toiletries on the bottom shelf of the bathroom. Not the top shelf. This actually worked out OK because Rigby wasn't quite tall enough to reach the top shelf. Then he returned to the bedroom and placed the rest of the trinkets he had brought from home on the shelf above his bed. He finished his unpacking by sliding the guitar and its case under his bed.

He exhaled heavily, feeling exhausted from the long car ride and unpacking everything, and threw himself upon his bed. "Finally done—"

Rigby pulled his laptop onto his lap and clicked on the internet shortcut on his desktop. It was only six o'clock; he had a lot of time to kill. Time to watch funny internet videos.

Rigby yawned and turned over on his side. The small alarm clock on the nightstand next to him flashed the time in bright red.

11:00 p.m.

Tomorrow Rigby would start classes. Tomorrow he would be on his way to actually making his parent proud for once. Tomorrow he wouldn't give a fuck about any of the douchey-upperclassman shit Mordecai would surely pull. Tomorrow Rigby would actually try to accomplish something, to make something of himself.

Tomorrow…

Rigby could feel his eyelids getting heavier as he thought pleasant thoughts about tomorrow. He was out in a matter of seconds, he didn't even hear a drunk Mordecai waltz into the bedroom and clumsily stumble to his bed.


End file.
